Leo: Okay, we're all done.
Kitty: But you've only been here a day.
Leo: You know what they say, Rome was built in a day.
Red: No... Rome wasn't built in a day.
Leo: Oh... Your basement was built in a day.

Michael Kelso: I miss Eric.
Jackie: Well, you still have me.
Michael Kelso: It's not the same, Jackie. I can talk to Eric about things that I can't talk about with you.
Jackie: Okay, well like what?
Michael Kelso: Well, for instance, the annoying things you do.
Jackie: Michael!
Michael Kelso: See, I can't talk to you.

Michael Kelso: Dating is based on a point system. Pam's good looking, so that's 25 points. Bob's the nicest guy in the world, so that's like, a point? But he has money, and that's 24 points. Now you add those up, and you get 50, which is, coincidentally half my score.

Michael Kelso: You know what your problem is? I'm to good looking.

Steven Hyde: I read somewhere that people in India fast, man. And, that it makes them think better. And, sometimes they can actually think themselves to death, man.
Michael Kelso: I wonder if that's what I'm doing right now? Sometimes my brain is doing things that I don't even know about.
Eric: Man, we think of some great stuff down here. But, later on I can never remember it.

Leo: Wow, business really picked up with those "Buy one get one free coupons."
Steven: Yeah, because you forgot the "buy one" part.

Frank: I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hotdogs to teenagers.
Kelso: You got both your legs, Frank.
Frank: Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam!

Jackie: Steven, do I really disgust you?
Steven: No. I disgust me because I'm supposed to be disgusted by you but I'm not.
Jackie: Me too! I mean, I like how scruffy you are.
Steven: Of course you do.

Michael Kelso: C'mon Eric, we never ask you for anything.
Eric: You guys ask me for everything.
Michael Kelso: So, what's one more thing?

Leo: I don't like what's going on here, man. That little dude's making us all look bad. I'm afraid the boss is gonna fire me.
Steven Hyde: Leo, you are the boss.

Leo: You know why they call it beer?
Eric: No, why?
Leo: I'm just curious, man.

Michael Kelso: Guess who made out with Pam Macey behind the gym!
Steven Hyde: Anyone with a quarter?
Michael Kelso: Me!
Fez: Damn, and I had a quarter!